IWSG: Falling for Fall

If you're looking for my interview with Kristine Asselin about her book deal with Bloomsbury, click here.

Insecure Writers Support Group is the brainchild of  Alex J. Cavenaugh.  The first Wednesday of every month is a time when we can express our insecurities freely and be supportive of each other. Let's face it: if we're writers, no matter where we are on the journey, we have some form of insecurity hugging us like Linus hugs his security blanket.

October and my favorite season are here, so I can't feel down. I can't even think about my own insecurities, though I'm confident I have many. I'm feeling like Anne of Green Gables:

So I'm going to hug my (in)security blanke to me as I sit on my deck feeling the crisp, cool of fall and seeing (for the firs time in four years) the changing of the leaves.
I recognize that fall is the end of the growing season and the world dying, but for me it will always be associated with the fresh start of something new. Anything can happen this time of year. That's why the air smells so good, the earth is getting a clean slate and preparing for the future. Today I'm ready for what's to come (at least that's what I'll be saying until winter gets here!)

I'm loving fall, writing away, and happy to be alive.
How's your October?

IWSG: Starting Something New

The first Wednesday of every month is IWSG, a bloghop hosted by the amazing Alex J. Cavenaugh to encourage and inspire each other and a safe place to admit our writing doubts. And if I understood it, this is the 200th IWSG, so a giant happy birthday to a wonderful group!

Today I'm not starting anything new in the writing world, but still, something I've never attempted before is happening. I'm opening doors to my own yoga studio. While I've taught for over ten years, I've never considered my own studio until a friend offered me some space free for a three-month trial period. And as crazy as my life is right now, I jumped at the chance to be my own boss, do it my own way, and get people moving and breathing-yoking the mind and the body.

I'm terrified, but excited, like that feeling when I open a brand new word document and only the curser blinks back at me.

In other news:
I have my interview up with Catherine Murdock on her new release (out yesterday) Heaven Is Paved with Oreos on Sporty Girl Books. I hope you'll check it out. When I grow up I hope to be like her.

IWSG-Better Late than Never

The first Wednesday of every month is IWSG, a bloghop hosted by the amazing Alex J. Cavenaugh. IWSG in a safe place to encourage, inspire, and admit our writing doubts to each other.










August!
I do really well at setting goals ... and then failing to reach them in my chosen timeframe. Life keeps coming-like this move that threw my writing and blogging for a serious loop.

Even so, I am determined to finish my current project NO MATTER WHAT. So I keep sludging forward.

What I thought was a puny hill

turns into a mountain

  and then a mountain range. I'm climbing the freaking Alps, but I keep going.

Even though it's hard, and the going is steep, I keep moving forward. My goal this past month: open my word document every day. That's it. It's not much progress forward, but it's one more step in the right direction. Hopefully one day I'll stand at the top and be able to say, "I made it."

If you have a chance, a little encouragement for my slow climbing would be appreciated. The Alps are looking rather tall this morning.

Thank you, IWSG!

IWSG: Fear

The first Wednesday of every month is IWSG, a bloghop hosted by the amazing Alex J. Cavenaugh to encourage and inspire each other and a safe place to admit our writing doubts.

On Sunday I listened to a General Conference address from a few years back as I drove in the car again (something I've gotten good at this past week-we've logged 40 hours so far). One line in the address stuck me deep. The speaker said that fear is the opposite of faith. I've never thought about fear that way. I realized I've been dwelling in fear more than I'd like to, and that I need to have more faith in many aspects of my life, my writing being one of them. So this month I'm sharing a poem that was given to me the summer before college. It has always helped me to believe more in myself, to push forward, and move out of fear. Perhaps it will do the same for you.

Our Deepest Fear
By Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us;
It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we're liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

Until next month...

IWSG

The first Wednesday of every month is IWSG, a bloghop hosted by the amazing Alex J. Cavenaugh to encourage and inspire each other and a safe place to admit our writing doubts.

I drafted another book (yay, right?) But when I think about revising said first draft, I act like a groundhog seeing his shadow and jump back into my hole (to bad it's not my writing cave.)

I know I need to take the Nike swoosh to heart and JUST DO IT, push forward, have courage that it won't be as bad as I think, that I'll find a storyline worth keeping; but so far, my pep talks aren't working. Still, now that I'm agented I feel like I need to have something to show for myself. I keep imagining this conversation:

Agent: What have you done since we finished LOVESENSE revisions?
Me: Um, I drafted that book idea we talked about. (and then hid from it)
Agent: Can I read it?
Me: *throws book down the deepest abyss I can find* It's not quite ready yet.

So if you have a moment, tell me to do it. Punxsutawney Phil wasn't afraid of his shadow this year. Maybe I shouldn't be afraid of mine either.

IWSG-Goals, New Years, and My Birthday

The first Wednesday of every month is IWSG, a bloghop hosted by the amazing Alex J. Cavenaugh to encourage and inspire each other and a safe place to admit our writing doubts.


As I sit huddled under the sheets in 9 degree weather (wondering why I thought this week would be a good time to leave sunny CA) I can't help but remember this post from the beginning of the year when I declared to the blogging world my writing goals. 

Besides the fact that I'm not a guy, don't have a comb over, and don't wear glasses (at least not in public) this guy could be me, right now, committing to my writing goals and sharing them with *gasp* the 8 people that follow my blog. I'm scared, but determined to . . .

1. Clean my NaNo, The Girl Who Could See, until it Shines and has a better title 

2. Begin Querying my NaNo (Yikes!)

3. Read 10 books on craft

4. Write the MG novel I'm bouncing around in my head

5. Attend at least 1 writing conference . . .figure out how to make it work with baby 

6. Join the Online Writer's Community
      A. Read other writers blog AND comment
      B. Blog once a week twice a month
      C. Start Tweeting figure out what it's all about

7. Participate (and win) NaNoWriMo 2012

I was so scared to publish that post-but writing them down-and in such a public way helped me to accomplish my goals (except #3 when I only read 6 craft books). Notice that I had the goal to query, not to get an agent. As I make goals, I make sure they're something completely in my power. I've had multiple people ask me if I have a goal to sell a book this year, but while I hope LOVESENSE sells, that is not completely in my power. Make sense?  

So if you're a goal oriented person like me, or simply considering writing goals for the new year, I encourage you to write specific, achievable goals that you (personally) can attain. 

Happy 2013! 

IWSG-NaNoWriMo Number Nerd

The first Wednesday of every month is IWSG, a bloghop hosted by the amazing Alex J. Cavenaugh to encourage and inspire each other and a safe place to admit our writing doubts.

Welcome to November, the month where my house is messier than usual, my children get fewer baths, and I wear pajamas all day long.

This is my second year doing NaNoWriMo, and having landed an agent with my NaNo LOVESENSE from 2011, I'm a big believer in the power and the excitement of writing with a large support group. I am crazy about updating my word count and seeing my bar graph jump. I am afraid of letting it drop below midline, so for the 1st three days I pumped out 10K, averaging over 3K a day, twice the 1,667 word average. I'm adding this widget to my side bar so that during the month my progress will be visible here, as well as on NaNo.




If you're doing NaNo and starting to feel pressure, I'll give you a little advise that helped me.
1. Always write forward.
2. Give yourself permission to write crap.
3. Take a day off. I write 6 days on, with a rest day on Sunday. When I come back to my MS on Monday inevitably I've figured out plot points and I have a big writing day-usually 4K.
4. Do writing sprints. I prefer the 15 minute variety-and if I'm on a roll I take it to 30.
5. Bribe yourself-I have to write 1000 words before I'm allowed to get on the internet. I also have food reward that I can't eat until I've reached a goal-written so many more words, another scene, etc.
6. Write to fun numbers and update you word count often. Seeing that bar graph jump gives me the excitement to write just a little bit more.

NaNo is daunting, but it is achievable. Believe in yourself and get back to that WIP:) If you're doing NaNo let me know and I'll add you to my buddy list:)

IWSG

If you're here for the 100 Followers Giveaway of crits., favorite 2012 reads, or a $20 dollar gift card, click here.

The 1st Wednesday of every month is Insecure Writer's Support Group. Thank you Alex. J. Cavenaugh. From his site: [IWSG is designed to] "share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!"

Today's post is mostly a thank you for last month. I was in a panic, afraid to ever query, to face all the rejection that comes with that long road, but your encouragement gave me the strength to push send. I've now been querying for almost three weeks and it's been okay. I've been rejected, gotten requests, heard nothing, and guess what? I'm okay. 

If I hadn't had wonderful encouragement from the IWSG community, I might still be afraid to send out that first query. Thank you for the cheerleading and the kindness that you sent my way. 

So if you're out there, and you've polished your MS and your query, but you're afraid to take that next step, go ahead and test the waters, and when you're ready, jump in head first.

What I Did Last Summer: Fact or Fiction #2 and IWSG

 Emily R. King and Melody Wright are hosting this bloghop where we tell one true and one false story,  in 500 words or less. My 1st story is here. We get to vote Thursday on which one is true or false and there are prizes:) The true story doesn't have to be from this past summer, but it does have to be true.

It's another sweltering summer, but this time I'm sweating it out in Southern Mississippi (hello, no point in ever doing your hair or make-up. So pretty much a great place for me to live). I was on our patio swing reading The Book Thief and enjoying the morning as my children napped. I was still in my pajamas pants and had on my white, threadbare marine biology shirt from sophomore year in high school trip to Key Largo.

When I went to go back inside I discovered I'd locked myself out and no amount of rechecking the windows and doors was going to get me inside my house. I didn't have a cell phone, my neighbors weren't home, but I had a best friend about a mile away. So, leaving my children and praying that nothing bad would happen, I walked (no bra and nursing me made running a no go), the asphalt burning my bare feet, and tried to look confident in my glasses and pillowcase styled hair. My feet were blistering and I could only hop so much without making a bigger fool of myself. I knew I wouldn't make it to Suzanne's. We had a more casual friend who lived closer. I hoped she'd be home and stopped there. Of course her husband opened the door, and let me just say he seemed pretty shocked to see me standing on his porch. Mortified, I tried to act casual AND cover my boobs as I asked to borrow his phone. He was super nice, a sweetheart really, but for me it made it even more awkward as I sat in his car on the ride back to my house. He stayed with me and attempted to break into the house, even though Stan was coming, because we could both here my son crying (he was too little to understand how to open the door).

Fifteen minutes later I was inside my house and rocking my little guy. Everything had turned out fine, but, that day is the reason we have a keypad today. Even I can't lock myself out anymore.

Fact or Fiction: You decide
Voting happens tomorrow, so I'll be seeing you all soon:)

IWSG
I need you guys today. It's as if I've locked myself out of my house again. I posted last month that I was ready to start querying, but I keep on finding excused not to start. Waiting for feedback from one more beta reader, after this contest, after this conference, after GUTGAA. What I really need is someone to kick me in the pants and make me start pushing send. I have my novel, I have my query written. Now I need some guts. Anybody have some to spare? Rejection is fun, right? Right?

What Was Your Childhood Monster? Bloghop

During this month's IWSG I discovered Christine Rains and instantly wanted to be her best friend. I mean the subheading for her blog reads, My toddler has too much energy. So does my protagonist. I need more sleep.  I SO get that.
So I couldn't resist joining her bloghop this week in honor of her book Fearless coming out today.

My biggest childhood fear comes from a repeated dream. I'm kidnapped by this giant Big Bad Wolf. He throws me in a bag, dumps me in a boat on a lake, rows us across, makes a Robin sandwich (yup, that would be me between two enormous slices of white bread), and eats me. The moment his huge jaws lean in to take that first bite I always woke up.

A little too much of The Three Little Pigs, Little Red Riding Hood, and The Gingerbread Boy at my house perhaps?

 I really hope it's not the way I go, as some giant wolf's meal. After watching City of Ember this week with all their giant moths and that giant star mole (eww) I really hope it's not a possibility. Animals aren't getting bigger, are they???

At least I've never seen an oven large enough to make bread my size, though I did see boats made out of bread in Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs...

Did you join the bloghop? What's your biggest childhood fear? Does it still haunt you?

And thanks to David P. King for his links to safe public domain pictures. I found this one on wikimedia (click picture for link)

Reaching for the GOLD-IWSG

It's the First Wednesday again. Hello IWSG:)

As Olympians reach for the Gold

Hit their targets,

Nail their routines,

And in general look really hot doing it.

I'm getting ready to enter the world of writer competitions and querying. That's right, soon Lovesense will be out there showing the (agenting) world what I can do.

I'm still afraid of the lions (see this post here), but I'm inspired by all these great people and their wonderful news:
Newly Agented Cassie Mae
Liesl Shurtliff's Cover Reveal Guys, there's something about the first book you read pre-published and seeing it (albeit through the internet) as a real live book that makes me feel like I could do anything.
Super Wonderful Newly Agented Ilima Todd. My CP is so inspiring guys. Great cheerleader, great feedback, and her writing, sucks me in every time. I'm so, so happy for her.
Although that means I won't be joining her in the world of online competitions and querying blahs. She's already gotten her medal. But that's okay. She remembers what it was like to be there in the trenches.

While I'm expecting plenty of form rejections and no responses at all, the next step is here. I can't help but dream and work towards one day having my gold medal dream realized.

All those contests (MSFV and Cupid's Literary Connection) that remind us "you shouldn't be entering this contest, much less reading these guidelines unless you have a finished manuscript ready to query" well guys, I do.

IWSG-something's gotta go.

It's that time again: Insecure Writer's Support Group hosted by the amazing Alex J. Cavanaugh where we share our doubts and fears in this challenging and wonderful world of writing.
Where was I in June you ask? At WIFYR and visiting family of course. But don't worry, I'm sticking around for the rest of the summer and looking forward to catching up on your blogs.

 

To write we have to give something up and I haven't found a comfortable balance. I'm always worrying that I'm spreading myself too thin, giving too much to my writing, too little to my family, not sleeping enough so I'm on the verge of a cold, and possibly heading to a mental breakdown. Writing is hard. Determining to write, and make the time for it, is even harder.

At the Writers and Illustrators for Young Readers conference this past month Mette Ivie Harrison gave a talk entitled "Finding Time To Write." The entire talk reminded me of the father in Cheaper by the Dozen. Mette finds the most efficient ways to workout (down to the individual steps), quickest way to unload her dishwasher (she can do it in 30 sec), and she no longer cleans her house or does any yard work (she showed us pictures as proof). She told us this great story of a Kirby salesman coming to her house and she had him clean her bedroom carpet and realized that it hadn't been vacuumed in the 18 months they'd lived in that house. Yikes!

While I haven't gone to her extremes, here is a list of the big things I've let go for writing. In the end I hope it's worth it. 

1. Exercise time
Running in the early morning (because this is my one undivided writing time)

2. Sleep
I write best from 5 to 7 in the morning.

3. Money
Couponing. It can run your life, tracking down deals, organizing coupons, and rebates.

My savings towards my dream trip to Alaska. I spent half of it to attend WIFYR in 2011

4. Cleanliness
My house doesn't get the attention it once did.

Showering? Getting dressed? Totally optional.

A Kirby salesman actually came to my house yesterday and while in the past I'd let him come and make some portion of my house spotless, I sent him packing, plaid shirt and all. No way could I get writing done while he's here trying to sell me a ridiculously expensive vacuum.

5. Driving my kiddos to school
 Hello bus, I know you're awful and where I learned all about S-E-X and cuss words, but here are my children.

6. Time with my husband
One night a week he watches the kids so I can have 3 hrs of kid free writing time.

7. Time with other adults
Story time at the library and playgroup with my church

What have you given up? And is it worth it? Have you found a balance?

IWSG-My 1st book baby

When I had my first child, I couldn't imagine that any other child could ever be loved as much as I loved him. He was perfect and he was mine.

Writing Mara, first book baby, the gestation period lasted over 1.5 years. It was hard work, with lots of back tracking, rewriting, and having NO CLUE what I was doing. I loved my book with a fierceness to rival any Mama Bear, overlooking any and all flaws.

Then I started reading about favorite writers and following author stories. All these great writers didn't publish their first books. (Kiersten White, Natalie Whipple, Beth Revis, and Carrie Ryan, to name a few).

Not me, I vowed. I would not be able to live if my first book baby wasn't published.

I finished Mara, and even Mama Bear me could see its enormous, cannot be fixed, flaws. Talk about bottom of the barrel, if-I-drank-I-would, depressed. I'd wasted twenty months of my life, and I had nothing to show for it.

But then I started writing a new story, and I fell in love all over again (as I have with each subsequent child). And my writing this time around (while still flawed) was getting better. My story arced, my characters had somewhat realistic dialogue. I don't mind that book baby Mara is on the back shelf, possibly permanently. I've realized that the time and love I gave that manuscript, it wasn't wasted, it shaped me into the writer I am now.

So if you're working on your first book baby and the fear of it not being published is looming large, know that no writing you do will be wasted. Take it as a giant, learning experience. Allow yourself to move on and write better because of it.

Insecure Writers Support Group

It's 3:41 am.
I should be sleeping.
No really, I need to be sleeping because real life is going to hit any second.
But I can't.
I'm obsessing about my first ever Insecure Writer's post.

If that isn't the epitome of insecure I'm not sure what is.
Here I am, joining a group of people who post their fears, stresses, terrors of failure in the competitive world of writing, and I'm worried what readers will think of my post.

I'm over analyzing.
Again.


If my computer was cooperating and I organized my photos better I could find the full-size picture of my little photo on the left side column. You would see me in the foreground and in the background sunning on an SUV, is a lion, the king of beasts. And if I enter his enclosure he might tear me to pieces.

Right now the querying world can feel like that lion's enclosure. I can stay safe on the outside of the fence, continuing to write new stories, to revise old ones, to watch my friends braving the lion's den (query), but I need  the courage to jump the electric fence and take the beating that will come with querying. My parania thinks this will happen: dissecting of every word, laughing at my poor comma usage, deciding my characters aren't nearly as quirky as Lola, as tough as Katniss, or as smart as Kate Grable (even under the pressure of a zombie apocalypse).

Or even worse-they might never read a single word.

Especially if I don't start putting my writing out there. No matter how scary I think the lions could be.

But to query, I have to LET SOMEONE READ MY BOOK.
(I know what you're thinking-if I can get the agent request a full, but just go with me here)

My fear-letting the world read my writing, and tearing it to pieces. What if my skin isn't thick enough? What if I can't handle the emotional roller coaster. I'm focusing on my new MS instead of revising Lovesense. I'm telling myself I'm giving it a rest so that I'll have more perspective, but what if it's because I'm afraid of letting the lions maul my baby?

My words NEED to be out there. I'm practicing positive self talk and I tried for a  First Impressions slot on Dianne Saleni's blog. I got this Friday-am I scared? Pooping my pants terrified.

I love my CP's and my hubs, but they know me, they're nice to me because of, well, because they know me. But Friday-strangers (she has 300 followers) will be reading my first page.

Terrifying.
Thrilling.
Nail Biting.

And hopefully *crosses fingers, toes, and eyeballs* what I learn will help me perfect my 1st page and have a better experience when I begin facing the lions.

What small steps are you taking to conquer your writing fears or tame those imaginary raging lions?