Bad, Robin, Bad

This morning I did the unthinkable and slept in. Yes, my body didn't wake me up like it's supposed to and I awoke when my husband's alarm went off. Oh no, I thought, I should be writing. And then I listened to my house. Caramel, our wiener dog, outside excited that Stan was up, jumping on the sliding glass door to our bedroom, and from the girls room-chattering already. How come I needed extra sleep and they needed less? Okay, maybe it had to do with the seven errands I ran with my three children here and in the town 30 minutes away yesterday and the stress of forcing my five-year-old to have her blood drawn so that she could go to school. Feeling the dislike of the technician, "We don't force children here." and my unacceptable response, "but she can't go to school without this". I was lowered to those awful moms that bribe their kids and then when that still doesn't work help hold them in place. Trust me, I hated myself too, but that phlebotomist, her disgust in me ran deeper. Let's just hope she's not the one when I go in for my glucose test.

Also. Why is the tooth fairy so fickle? Last night she forgot to come to sweet Eliza's room and Eliza was in tears this morning. "How could she forget me? She never forgets Israel (her older brother)." What could I say to this tear stained face? Well what I did say was that she must have been a novice and I'd have a talk with her. I also traded the tooth for 4 quarters and told her I'd put her tooth under my pillow tonight. Stan explained that the tooth fairy is a lot like Tinkerbell being naughty and not doing what Peter asks of her. Eliza, a Peter Pan lover, totally related to this explanation. I asked Stan later which one of us was Tinkerbell. He laughed and refused to say, meaning of course ME. 

So, not only did I not wake up early and fail to perform my tooth fairy duties. Instead, I lay in bed, finishing Sarah Dessen's Along for the Ride and waiting for my girls to make their way to my bed for snuggles. And after that, I stayed in bed, coming out only to pour milk, and go pee of course, I am 6 mo pg after all. I read page after page, tearing up as I neared the finish. Loving the vibrancy of Dessen's characters, her ability to write full-circle, and just feeling so many of the emotions of Audin, her MC. These feelings I have reading Dessen, I want to have with my own book, with my MC. I chose reading over writing, compelled to finish Audin's tale instead of finish mine. What does this tell me about my own writing? The depth that I've taken my MC? How much further I need to go? I want my readers to feel this same longing, and understanding of Mara's life (my MC) as I did with Audin. I want their hearts to respond as mine did this morning. Here's to hoping that I can get there.

And thank you Dessen for the wonderful example of getting it done right.

This is my fifth Dessen read in two months and my favorite. This North Carolina author, professor, and mom blows me away. If you haven't read Dessen yet, add her to your list.

Now to figure out where in my day I'll be able to fit in my 1000 words . . .as one of my critique partners would say of my morning, "BAD ROBIN, BAD." Capitals included.