Bad, Robin, Bad

This morning I did the unthinkable and slept in. Yes, my body didn't wake me up like it's supposed to and I awoke when my husband's alarm went off. Oh no, I thought, I should be writing. And then I listened to my house. Caramel, our wiener dog, outside excited that Stan was up, jumping on the sliding glass door to our bedroom, and from the girls room-chattering already. How come I needed extra sleep and they needed less? Okay, maybe it had to do with the seven errands I ran with my three children here and in the town 30 minutes away yesterday and the stress of forcing my five-year-old to have her blood drawn so that she could go to school. Feeling the dislike of the technician, "We don't force children here." and my unacceptable response, "but she can't go to school without this". I was lowered to those awful moms that bribe their kids and then when that still doesn't work help hold them in place. Trust me, I hated myself too, but that phlebotomist, her disgust in me ran deeper. Let's just hope she's not the one when I go in for my glucose test.

Also. Why is the tooth fairy so fickle? Last night she forgot to come to sweet Eliza's room and Eliza was in tears this morning. "How could she forget me? She never forgets Israel (her older brother)." What could I say to this tear stained face? Well what I did say was that she must have been a novice and I'd have a talk with her. I also traded the tooth for 4 quarters and told her I'd put her tooth under my pillow tonight. Stan explained that the tooth fairy is a lot like Tinkerbell being naughty and not doing what Peter asks of her. Eliza, a Peter Pan lover, totally related to this explanation. I asked Stan later which one of us was Tinkerbell. He laughed and refused to say, meaning of course ME. 

So, not only did I not wake up early and fail to perform my tooth fairy duties. Instead, I lay in bed, finishing Sarah Dessen's Along for the Ride and waiting for my girls to make their way to my bed for snuggles. And after that, I stayed in bed, coming out only to pour milk, and go pee of course, I am 6 mo pg after all. I read page after page, tearing up as I neared the finish. Loving the vibrancy of Dessen's characters, her ability to write full-circle, and just feeling so many of the emotions of Audin, her MC. These feelings I have reading Dessen, I want to have with my own book, with my MC. I chose reading over writing, compelled to finish Audin's tale instead of finish mine. What does this tell me about my own writing? The depth that I've taken my MC? How much further I need to go? I want my readers to feel this same longing, and understanding of Mara's life (my MC) as I did with Audin. I want their hearts to respond as mine did this morning. Here's to hoping that I can get there.

And thank you Dessen for the wonderful example of getting it done right.

This is my fifth Dessen read in two months and my favorite. This North Carolina author, professor, and mom blows me away. If you haven't read Dessen yet, add her to your list.

Now to figure out where in my day I'll be able to fit in my 1000 words . . .as one of my critique partners would say of my morning, "BAD ROBIN, BAD." Capitals included.

Week Two Report

Goal Achieved! I can't believe I did it. It feels really amazing to have written this much. I know for some writers they can churn this out in a day, but I already have a day job, and a night job, so this goal has challenged me and let me know that I can write more, and focused. I do have to admit my eyes drift constantly to that word count tally at the bottom of the page. It's such a rush to watch the numbers climb.

10,625 words last week.  Biggest day: 3303 words
I haven't rewarded myself yet via kindle purchase, but I'm carefully looking over my options.

My current goal spans until Aug 24th-finish my rough draft. Write every day, 1000 words minimum as usual. I think I'll need 12000 to finish it, so I'd better get back to writing.

Planned Reward: Pedicure
And I usually only get one a year for Mother's Day. I finally clued my husband in that I didn't want vacuums or double strollers for Mother's Day, I wanted pampering, so each year he gets me a massage and a pedicure.

Happy Writing!

Writing Goal Week One

Daily Goal: write every day but Sunday-1000 word minimun. Can slip up 1 day/week
I wrote every day this week, but on Thursday failed to reach my goal. I eeked out 634 words before utter brainless failure.
Goal achieved.

Weekly Goal: 5000 word minimum
7,843 total.
Goal achieved.

Next Week's Goal: the same with a bonus treat (my first non-free kindle book purchase) if I can write 10,000 words

I should be sleeping . . .

But I woke up in the night at 3 am:
1. having to pee-that's what pregnancy will doing for you
2. having to eat-also what pregnancy will do to you

3. unable to stop thinking about Louise Plummer's thriller Finding Daddy that I started at 7:30 the night before.

So finally, I crawled out of bed trying not to wake my husband (success), grabbed my cell phone and Louise's book, and headed for my favorite reading chair in our living room.

I won't tell you about the book, except to say that if I'd read one more chapter last night I would have had to read it to the end before I could fall asleep. What can I say, as a totally unbiased student of Louise-she is AMAZING. It also freaked me out a little that it was written for her granddaughter that died at 4 months so I have to admit I looked up her obituary to make sure it wasn't from the causes written in the book (it's not).

Then I got online, because, well, it was 4:30 and I usually get up around 5:30 in the morning to start writing. No alarm guys, my crazy body just wakes up and I use this precious quiet time to get in my mandatory 1000 words a day. I shoot for another 1000 or so as the day progresses, but this morning time, well it's sacred. And since I was early, I had to read Taryn's Post because it's about our critique group. The best thing I took from WIFYR was an incredible critique group. There are 5 of us girls and Taryn, the most experienced, youngest one of all wrote about us on her blog last night.

Here I am with Tayrn. I shamelessly took pics on the last day with our entire class so that one day, when they're all famous I can prove that I know them- and that just maybe I helped them be a better writer:)

This is my longtime friend AND the one who got me started writing my book: Kathyrn Purdie

 Emily with Kathryn. Emily was everyone's new best friend and has an awesome reading voice to boot. She lives in sunny CA too, but in Northern CA, so she's just as far as my Utah writing friends (boo). And I had to add the link to her kindle post. I've just gotten a kindle (finally with my b-day money from Jan.) I kept dreaming about one, but then fighting them because I love holding the thick books, turning real pages, enjoying their crispness or their library use, imagining all the people who had read the copy before. And in the back of my mind always was Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451. Honestly, did this book hold back any other kindle interested people? Here's her post: Ahem. Public Apology #1.

 Ilima (with me) Isn't she gorgeous? and her book-well I just got to read the entire manuscript (on my new kindle) and I'm so excited for her. She's already working on the sequel. AND she homeschools. I am in awe, complete and utter awe.

Well, that's my group. Thank you girls for your inspiration, your knowledge, and your ability to tell me when my writing is awful and when I'm getting it right.

WIFYR 2011

I'm finally home after a month away and wanted to share some of the gems from my novel class experience.  First-to answer my previous post, some of the classmates looked just as I had imaged and some were pleasant surprises.  The biggest surprise for me was that my favorite submissions were from the teenagers in our class.  We had 3 amazing girls-one who's on her 9th book and working hard to get an agent. One just turned 16 (the minimum age for the conference). My main surprise was Louise Plummer-I didn't know what to expect, but I don't think I would have ever expected her. She is  funny and so real. We did a lot of laughing in there along with all the learning.

Main things I learned:

1. I'm not as good as I thought

2. I had some uncontroled side characters that were hi-jacking my book. I took Kathleen Duey's advise and cut them out-gave them their own folder with a promise to write their book one day, then went back into my book and changed their names
3. Don't be afraid to go to my dark side (direct quote from Louise)  Even though I'm writing YA I worried I'd be corrupting young minds with the dark parts of my story. Embrace them-use them . . .
4. If I'm struggling with a scene do what one of the amazing teens taught me-write the scene from the bad guys perspective (or anyone elses really). I was amazed what happened when I got inside my bad guy's head. What I wrote scared me, and when  I wrote the scene from my protagonist it was so much stronger and spot on. Everyone was impressed with the rewrite(thank goodness). I read it holding the paper in front of my face so nobody could see me blush.
5. I need to just get a nitty gritty complete first draft done. Then I can come back and revise. Goal-write every day. Have a completed draft before school starts as the end of August.
6. If I want to write and be published I just need to keep trying, continue to improve my craft, and eventually I will succeed.

Through Their Words

Don't judge a book by its cover, we've all heard, but what about judging an author by the words they write?
These last two weeks have been filled with the first 30 pages of my 12 classmate's manuscripts. I just realized this morning that although I haven't met any of these aspiring authors, I already have a mental picture of what they're going to look like, their intellectual level, and if I'm going to really mesh with them.

So, that brings the question-If I've spent 4 hours pouring over and critiqueing the start of someone's work am I really getting to know them or is it all in my head?
I know with reknowned author Cassandra Clare I had my image of who she would be-thinking that she would be much like her red-headed, demon destroying heroine (who just happens to have a similar name)Clary Fray. I had read three of her books-I just can't get enough of them (and have now read all that are available)-even if Stan won't stop making fun of me for reading a book with this cover.

When I watched this B&N interview and realized she had not based Clary on herself.
I laughed for a long time at my silliness in thinking she must be just like Clary.

So, back to my classmates, I keep wondering, am I doing the same thing again?
And what might they be thinking after reading my manuscript? What have they decided about me before even seeing me for the first time? It will be interesting to see how knowing each other first for our work will affect our classroom structure and the way we will interact with each other.

WIFYR-five days and counting-I'll have an answer to this question soon:)

Stan's Example

Every writer seems to struggle with confidence at one time or another. For me, it was the fear of even starting-I didn't want to be a failure. I didn't want to begin until I knew that I could actually accomplish my goal that I could not only write a complete novel, but that I could also get it published.
Five years ago my husband Stan and I were having a discussion. He insisted that anyone could write a book. I didn't agree. So, to prove me wrong he spent the next three years working and reworking a book.
The werid thing is that I forgot my dream to write for a while. I was in supportive wife role and busy young mom role. I kept up my insane reading habits, but didn't try to write again until Stan showed me his finished novel. "I wrote this," he said, "to prove to you that you can write one to. And make a ton of money and start supporting us." He said the last part jokingly and we laughed together.
Still it renewed my longtime desire. I would start writing again. If my husband could write a book during his master's program, then I could write a book too. I would.
Now finally I've taken the plunge. I'm calling myself a writer and I'm writing. Before I was pregnant I was writing every day. That first trimester messed up my record a bit. Even so, I've begun telling people what I am doing and it feels good. I know I'm at the start of a long, frustrating road, but I'm grateful to be on it. And what's more, I'm sticking with it.