Dianne K. Salerni asked me a great question last week after my IWSG post. What about your manuscript scares you?
It was the first time I really evaluated what is scaring me about this story. Here's what I've come up with so far.
1. It's a very different book than I thought I was writing. I'm a pantser, and while I fully support pantsers and champion some of the greatest writing pantsers of all time *waves to Stephen King* I have plotter envy.
Last fall I wrote out 10 book ideas and with the help of the brilliant and talented Julia Weber, I narrowed my ideas to 3, and then settled on Gutter Girl, another light and funny YA magical realism that would be a good 2nd book to sell with LOVESENSE. Gutter Girl was going to have a bowling ball that started acting like a magic 8 ball among other things (go ahead and laugh, I am).
But as I drafted Gutter Girl in crazy fast NaNo fashion the magical bowling ball wasn't working. I wasn't feeling the story. Even to me, it wasn't believable (not a good sign). So, in my tradition I kept writing forward, but took out my magical element.
My book became straight contemporary.
And things got real.
And I said to myself, I'm not Sarah Dessen, I can't write straight comtemp. that's not who I am.
2. Because it's such a different book it needs a complete rewrite, but beyond that, I'm not even sure if it's a book worthy of tackling. Hence the writing depression.
3. I have an agent, so I'm supposed to magically become the greatest, best writer of all time. I should be churning out books at least half as fast as my CP Taryn, and at least almost as hot as my CP Ilima, with characters as powerful as my CP Emily, and words as beautiful and grammatically clean as my CP Kathryn. But although I write about magic, no magical changes came. I'm still the same messy draft, wandering through my stories, picking through the crap and finding the gems as I was before I signed with Julia.
After making this list last week I determined to read through of my MS, to take notes and find my story. I'm half-way through and it's not nearly as bad as I'd feared.
Thank you writing community for getting me back to my story, back to where I crave to be, dreaming and spinning stories and getting to know my characters.
Thank you for sharing! I've been writing my story that I've worked on from NaNo two years ago. Ugh. It's coming along! Great blog.
ReplyDeleteKeep pushing forward Jessica! I'm learning that if we never give up we can make it. (I know, totally sappy, but true!)
DeleteWell, I'm glad my question inspired you to dig further into why you were hesitating to move forward. I'm so glad you've gotten back to your story!
ReplyDeleteRe: #1 -- I wrote only YA Historical, right up to when I wrote a MG Fantasy that I didn't think I could pull off. Except I did. So yes, you can write a straight contemp!
Re: #2 -- See the first point above. I didn't know it was MG when I wrote it. I thought it was YA. But when my agent explained why it was better off MG, it required a complete re-write. Several, actually. I had to let go of all the YA elements in successive drafts, one at a time, until I was comfortable with what my story was becoming.
Re: #3 -- I think we all feel that way when we get an agent. Because we don't want to let her/him down. But we all produce our writing at different rates and in different ways. We can't compare our progress to anyone else's. :D
Thanks Dianne! As always, you help me to be a better writer--and hopefully a little less crazy:D And good to know about your amazing MG. I'm a multiple revisions girl, I just need to get through this first one! I can write contemp ...I can write contempt ....
DeleteSo glad you're coming along. We all get depressed over our writing at one point or another. But we can use those emotions tied to fear of failing and write them into our characters. Most people want to take a break at that point, but I think that's when we have to sit our butt in the chair the most and write it out, even if it is total crap. We can always polish it later. The words don't need to be pretty yet . . . writing is all about the emotion, baby!!!
ReplyDeletegreat point, writing is about emotion-and I'm using mine right now, that's for sure. Thanks for the encouragement!
DeleteI'm glad your story is coming along now. I have so many stories and poems and books that I've set aside due to one fear or another. It's not easy to get over those fears. I'm glad you found a great writing community to help!
ReplyDeleteThanks Dana. I have 2 MS's that made it to 2nd draft stage and then I set them aside. I tell myself I'll go back to them one day (we'll see if that happens). It's interesting how much various fears play on our writing. I hope you're working on something that you're happy with right now:)
DeleteGlad to know I'm the CP that writes the hot stuff, hehe. I'm feeling you right now, Robin. I'm trying to wrap up revisions on TES this week and I'm wondering if it's worth saving. Hopefully when I do a final read-through this weekend I fall in love with it again. Keep going, my dear. You will get it! :)
ReplyDeleteTES is SO WORTH saving. I am crazy in love with that story (even the ending certain people didn't go gaga over). Writing is such a mental game!
DeleteYou will fall in love again-how can you not, with Li-yum:D
If you don't SAVE TES I WILL COME AFTER YOU, ILIMA.
DeleteIt looks like Michelle, Robin and I have a pact to do crazy things if you don't save TES. So, there you go.
DeleteGlad you're seeing that it's not so bad. I totally agree with Dianne, though I haven't tried writing out of my genre. But I agree that we all write at different speeds and sometimes it's because of other things going on in our life. And that's okay.
ReplyDeleteYes, I had a lot going on in my life and that has affected my writing speed. Dianne is amazing. She's taught me a lot about writing (we're both pantsers) and the business side of things. Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteI'm proud of you for sitting down and figuring out what was scaring you! That takes a lot of courage! Seriously. You can do it!
ReplyDeleteThanks Britney! Life and my writing is a WIP for sure:D
DeleteRobin, I love that you wrote something out of your element. I think it's the greatest thing writers can do for themselves. It helps us grow. Maybe deep inside you didnt want lighthearted funny, but wanted to go deeper. I do understand the fear, cuz it's scary and we wonder if we're truly up to it. These are the books that hold us accountable as writers and prove what we're made of.
ReplyDeleteWriters unite! ((hugs))
Thanks PK and I love your new profile picture. I think you might be right, deep down I wanted something deeper. Thank you for your encouragement today and in the past. (hugs)
DeleteAh, contemporary! The love of my life! This post makes me super-happy. :D
ReplyDeleteThanks Michelle. You write both contemp and fantasy, maybe I can be like you:D
DeleteRobin! I'm so glad you've found your muse. I know YOU CAN DO IT! Also, I'm humbled to think my characters are powerful. I guess powerful characters can only take you so far. Ahem. My weakness tends to be plot...which you excel at (i.e. LOVESENSE).
ReplyDeleteAlso, there's nothing wrong with contemporary and I BELIEVE IN YOU!
Thank you Emily! Having amazing CP's is what keeps me going-I can't let you guys down. And plot-your WIP plot is A-mazing, so a little Hawaiian flower told me.
DeleteI'm so glad you can see the brilliance in your own work, Robin. Good for you!
ReplyDeletehaha, did I say brilliance? I didn't mean it "that" way. I am pleased it's better than I was expecting though:) Excited to meet you at Storymakers!
DeleteHow was I not following your blog before!?! *hurries to correct oversight*
ReplyDeleteThese pictures really do describe a lot about writing. Scarily so. Glad you got over the diving board stare down and made the jump. Hope it has continued to go well for you!
Thanks Janeal-this MS is really a challenge for me, but I'm at an "I can make this great phase" surely "this is the worst ever" will come back, so I've got to work fast:D
DeleteSo, when I sat down to do a collab with Kelley we decided to try our hand at Contemp, I felt the same way you do. I write fantasy not reality. But I've fallen in love with putting something real on paper. I'm glad you're going back through and finding it's not that bad. I'm sure its probably brilliant. ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jenny. Diving into a new genre is intimidating, but I am telling myself I can do it. All this encouragement is helping too:)
DeleteRobin, I'm so proud of you for admitting your fears and tackling them. Watch out, Robin's fears! #3 is HUGE. I felt that big-time as I wrote the first half of my last novel, and then that agent quit, and I had to finish the other half with a completely new mindset of AHH, CRAP, NOW WHAT?! But "now what" turned out a lot better than I thought. :-) I believe in you and your writing whole-heartedly and KNOW without a doubt you can pull off a straight contemporary. You go, girl! <3
ReplyDeleteYou are a great example of perseverance, Katie! And I'm so happy for how well everything has turned out for you. I'm just happy to be back to writing writing writing. *hugs*
DeleteI am dabbling in a straight contemporary right now too. I am not sure about it, but I'm diving in!
ReplyDelete